Even as I write this, I know with
certainty, those that the words are aimed at, will not heed the advice
either. I must still write the message,
because if I don’t I will continue to suffer from the heavy-heartedness I am
weighted down by lately. I simply ask
that if you are in the “younger” category, please at least humor me and read
this cautionary tale.
When I was in my twenty’s I was
married (at 19), and had 2 children. My
husband was in college to enter the Ministry and we thought we already lead a
life of sacrifice! We sacrificed our
time alone together because we had no money, and to give our children what time
we did have. We sacrificed a lot of
precious family time to work, our church and our goals, and we gave what little
time was left to sleep! My husband even
gave up a lot of sleep to studying and getting good grades! Don’t get me wrong…I do not say any of this
out of regret! It is just a fact, part
of our story and journey, and we would not be who we are without those
choses. I wish there could have been
more balance to life, but we learned though those choses! When we did have family time, we made the
most of it and had fun, even with no money!
When we had the rare date-night, we tried to really focus on each other
and not on how much we were spending! We
have now been married for 40 years and while it has rarely been easy, it has
been worth all the hard work, the fights, exhaustion, sleeplessness, and major
mistakes!
What I wish I had done better…listening
to and spending more time with those that have gone before me! I wish I had
asked more questions, instead of thinking I already had all the answers! I wish
I had spent more quality time with my grandparents, aunt & uncles and
parents! I should have focused more on learning where I had come from, what
they had gone through, learned through hearing about their own mistakes and trials,
and what their dreams had been! Now at
almost 60, I know what a strong, resilient and lead by faith heritage I come
from, but oh how I wish I knew more! I should have visited more often, stayed
longer, listened more intently and should have taken notes! Then again, the
younger me was far too self-sufficient and self-absorbed to know to do that.
To those
reading this – if you are still young-ish:
·
When
was the last time you called or visited the older generations in your life?
·
How
much time do you sacrifice of your all-important life, to stay connected to
your families?
·
How
often do you call your older relatives to simply ask them, “how are you?”
·
When
you ask a question, do you really listen to the answers, or are you thinking
about what you want to say next?
·
Have
you ever visited someone in a nursing home or other care facilities – how often? Yes, it’s hard and painful to do – but get
over yourself and do it anyway! Our seniors
or elderly have earned your interest, your time and lots of love, but do not
need your pity!
·
Are
you teaching your children to love, respect and visit older people?
·
How
much of your own story and where you come from, do you know? If someone younger asks you questions, will
you be able to answer?
·
Even
if you are not blood-related to someone, does not mean their story is not valid
for your life! Glean, glean, glean!
To my former self – the young, selfish and much too busy me…
·
WAKE
UP!
·
ASK
QUESTIONS AND THEN REALLY LISTEN!
·
GLEAN!
·
GET
OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY!
·
PUT
OTHERS BEFORE YOURSELF!
·
VISIT
THE ELDERLY WHEREVER THEY ARE!
·
SACRIFICE…NOT
JUST FOR YOUR OWN GOALS/DREAMS, BUT FOR THE GOOD OF SOMEONE ELSE!
·
PAY
ATTENTION TO TEACHABLE MOMENTS WITH YOUR CHILDREN!
·
LOVE
OUTLOUD – DON’T ASSUME OTHERS KNOW HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THEM:
TELL THEM!
ENCOURAGE
THEM!
SHOW
THEM!
CHERISH
THEM!
MOST OF ALL…BE THE PERSON THAT 60 YEAR OLD YOU,
WOULD WANT Y
