The Correct Thing

1902 a publishing company put into print, The Correct Thing In Good Society, by Florence Howe Hall.  A copy of this book has had a place in my home for at least 10 years now, and I have referred to it many times.  Now before you go off getting a very inaccurate picture of who I am, let me explain.  I keep this book and refer to it, not because I wish to fit in with high society type folk.  I’m not sure I even care about what Florence’s idea of the correct thing is.  No, I just find the book terribly interesting, very humorous and at times, even sad.  I refer to it in order to find material for devotions when I’ve been asked to speak and to give a point of reference - an ‘aren’t  you glad you didn’t live then’ type of talk for bridal showers.  I’ve never met Florence Howe Hall, but by reading her ‘rules’ for good society, I have perhaps formed a not so inaccurate picture of who she was.

There are 26 chapters in this tiny, green book, all tucked away in 361 pages, in a 5x7 sized binding.  The cover print - in gold, of course.  Here is a paragraph that seems to act almost as an apology to the book… “Brevity is the soul of wit; but a soul cannot do without a body in our mortal world.  If therefore, in this brief treatise matters are so condensed that he who runs (or rides) may read, it must evidently be with the understanding that the reader shall give the body of his own intelligence to the soul of these short sentences.  Condensation is often important for convenience in carrying with us material for future expansion.  In the little work here offered, it has been attempted on this ground.  The result sought will not be attained unless those who may take the book in hand shall themselves supply the expanding force of sympathy and intelligent apprehension, reading between the lines, and even across the page, since neither the positive nor the negative statements are complete in themselves, each needing the complement of its opposite.”  Oh my!  My intelligence doesn’t work well enough to understand everything it’s trying to tell me!  I’m lost already.

There are chapters in “The Correct Thing” about business, church, mourning, at college, at the table, when making calls - and the list goes on and on.
“It is the correct thing - for a lady…
To take a gentleman’s arm in the evening unless her hands should be fully occupied with her muff, or in holding up her dress. “
To bow first to a gentleman.
Where two ladies are under the escort of one gentleman, for one of them only to take his arm, the other lady walk by her side.
“It is NOT the correct thing - for a lady…
To wear a breastpin on a coat or other outside garment.
To take a gentleman’s arm in the daytime, unless it be in a crowded thoroughfare, on a slippery pavement, or under any other circumstances where it may be necessary for protection or support.
For one lady to take the arms of two gentlemen, unless she be learning to skate.”
While reading, my overall sense is that I am so thankful I did not live in 1902!  I do believe I would have been horsewhipped, stoned, thrown in shackles and possibly beheaded.  I seem to rarely do “the correct thing” even for today‘s standards.  I don’t say the right thing, eat the right way, act lady-like, or wear the right clothes.  Heavens…I’m a preacher’s wife with a tattoo!  I should turn myself in right now for a good lashing!

I know many people that try to live their lives being perfect…doing the correct thing.  They have formed lists in their heads of the rules or standards by which all should adhere to.   Rules can be good, we all need them and we should certainly follow the laws of the land, so as not to be thrown into those shackles I mentioned earlier.  The type of lists I get concerned about are the unreasonable expectations that we place on ourselves and others - the kind that make us become judgmental, critical, and snooty.  We church folk far too easily and often, are the worst offenders of this.  We somehow, take the Bible - a love letter from God, and twist the meaning of His intentions for it, and decide to practically do a re-write for Him!  There were laws for the people of the Old Testament…lots and lots of laws and rules.  Again, I am so thankful I did not live back then.  While I am grateful for the lessons of the Old Testament, the rich history and foretelling of Christ, I am more appreciative of living under the New Testament covenant - I live under the covering of Grace!

The New Testament helps us learn about Jesus’ birth, life, death and resurrection…which is the story of true love, forgiveness and grace!  I only need one ’standard’ or ruler to live my life by.  I don’t have to worry about what Florence Howe Hall thought, or whether I have my hands free to hold an arm, muff or my dress up!   I am about to leave for church this morning - which is a very correct thing to do, but I’m not wearing a dress!  Fortunately, my jeans, tattoo and dangly earrings will not get me shunned or flogged at our church. 

Hebrews 4:16
“So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.”