I have put off posting this glimpse of the past, for it is not so much past and a reminder of what the future will bring again. However, it is a significant moment in my life - just a few shorts years ago, and I believe worthy of posting. I want to clarify before I begin: my Dad is doing well now and is back at home, and through a lot of physical rehab, prayer and kind care-workers, he made a huge recovery. I don't want to forget the times during this trial that taught me valuable lessons though. So post this, I must!
It was a beautiful evening and the setting sun urged me to go for a walk. In a four week time period, I had spent more time at my parent's home, than my own. Dad had been diagnosed with Parkinsons, and also had back surgery. Our existence clung to the end of a yoyo that spiraled between home, the hospital and a care facility. For now, Dad was back at home, but we didn't know for how long. The question of "how long" seemed to end many of our sentences back then. At that particular moment, Mom had finished up what she needed and could be Dad's caregiver for the next little while. I headed out the door for some quiet. It didn't take long before I realized quiet would not come, because all the noise was in my head and I had brought it all with me. Quiet and Noise are bitter enemies and can not take walks together...I always end up leaving one at home.
There are convention grounds near my parent's home, with a creek meandering through and trees that have observed many walks and private cries through the years. I breathed deeply and at times even walked with my eyes closed, making sure I was not near the creek, (in case you were worried)! I finally got the noise in my head tucked in for the night and quiet drew alongside me. With quiet came loneliness and isolation. Noise at least, is distracting company. Now with quiet as my companion, silence was the loud intruder and I cried out, "God, please send someone my way - I need to know someone cares." I held my cell phone for a moment, as if willing it to ring...hoping God would nudge one of my friends or family members and they would just know to call at that moment. Apparently God hasn't gotten with the times yet and still only uses a land line!
No one called, and I continued the loop, feeling sorry for myself, and headed back to my home away from home. As I stepped onto the street leading to my parent's house, I noticed a police car out on the highway. My parent's live in a very small Oregon town and in a Christian retirement area...so the police are very good about doing drive-bys, making sure all is well. I think to myself, "great, my hair isn't white, or gray and I probably don't really look like I belong here." Sure enough, the police car turned around and headed toward me. I can see headlines in the local papers, "Pastor's wife arrested for trespassing." As the car came up behind me, I stepped to the side and stopped. The policeman stopped next to me and I didn't wait for an accusation, immediately blurting out, "I probably don't look like I belong here!" I waited for the known response..."you're right!" Instead all I heard was an apology!
The voice from the car only said, "actually I was going to say I was sorry for interrupting your peaceful walk." I sadly responded, "I need to get back to help take care of my Dad anyway." I will never forget what happened next. The officer turned off the patrol car's engine, took off his seatbelt, shifted to get comfortable, and then said, "sounds like your Dad isn't doing too well." The next 30 minutes turned a lonely evening into a huge "God Moment" and I smiled - almost chuckled, my way back to the house.
I realized that I had done exactly what Lamentations says in chapter 2, verse 11..."Cry aloud before the Lord!" I raised my kids telling them to "use their words," and not just whine...and I had forgotten to do it myself. I used my words that night, on that walk and "cried aloud" and God answered. He didn't use a cell phone because He doesn't need one. He used a land line - that human touch...the reason He created His children and put them on earth with one another! I needed a friend and God knew it - but He also knew that I didn't need to know them personally. The kindness of strangers is sometimes the most powerful of all!
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